After We Collided: A viewing that offers the best of the worst

They took a detailed and complex story and squashed it into nothing more than a basic teen drama. It’s like making a BLT without the bacon or lettuce… or tomato. Review by Savannah Duncan.

Official trailer: After We Collided

Allow me to paint a picture, young Sav was scrolling through Netflix on a night she had nothing better to do, only to fall onto a film called ‘After’. A burst of excitement runs through her body as she frantically presses the play button. This was a Wattpad story she read back when she was just 14 years old.

She prayed for the day it would become a film and unfortunately that day has arrived. Be careful what you wish for.

I grew up reading this Wattpad story back when the characters were named after the One Direction boys and not the bootleg names we see today, but that’s not what we’re here to talk about.

The first ‘After’ film was the biggest disappointment I have ever had in my entire life. I mean it. Imagine dreaming for something almost your entire childhood, only for it to become true in every wrong way possible. That’s what that film was.

I thought they’d stop there but, oh boy, did they make another one. Sadly, the only good thing about it was that Dylan Sprouse was in it, but the film was so bad he won’t be appearing in any more of them.

Okay, that’s not entirely true, but he has stated he will not be filming for the other two films. Yes, they are making two more.

You know how usually the first film is the best in the franchise and then the sequels don’t quite manage to hit you as much as the initial instalment did?

Well, ‘After’ was bad from the start, so why did they make a sequel and why are they making two more after this sequel? I’m so frustrated I might just deactivate my Netflix account.

It follows the basic romance within a teen drama, a girl who falls for a boy and they have an on-again, off-again relationship… only this boy has alcohol and anger problems. She really knows how to pick them.

The one thing I loved about reading this book was the story and how relatable Tessa Young was when she spoke about her feelings for Hardin. Not to mention the dilemmas she faced when it came to her new friends, who were clearly bad influences, and her mother.

Many things happened within the story and the writers tore them all out, only to leave the film with the most basic plot known to man. To be honest it would have been far more successful as a series with 40 minute episodes. The original story is so complex it’s the only way it could have worked.

I read a comment that said: ‘that was the best worse movie I have ever watched’ and I couldn’t put it better myself.

There is nothing really good to say about this film. It’s just a basic teen movie. Do yourself a favour and buy the book instead, I promise you’re not missing out.

After We Collided is currently available for streaming on Amazon Prime Video.


King Rocker: A fitting tribute to two cult Birmingham giants

Photographed by Michael Cumming: Robert Lloyd and Stewart Lee in front of the Kong statue

Samuel Hornsby reviews the new Michael Cumming documentary about singer Robert Lloyd and an 18-foot statue of King Kong.

I had never heard of Robert Lloyd or The Nightingales before watching ‘King Rocker’, but it made me want to. That seems to be the mark of a good music documentary.

Comedian Stewart Lee hosts an exploration into the life and works of Birmingham underground post-punk musician Robert Lloyd whilst using the story of a rejected giant statue of King Kong which once adorned the city as a mirrored comparison of underappreciation. Lee also weaves in his own personal stories and experiences with these two outcasts of Birmingham to complete the through-line.

Michael Cumming knows how to treat misfits and oddities. He’s done it many times before by framing eccentric characters in several comedy shows over his career including ‘Brass Eye’ and ‘Toast of London’. His previous direction of Lee on the show ‘Comedy Vehicle’ also shows he’s learnt how to best display the comedian and get across his dry, sarcastic humour in a way that will resonate with audiences. In addition to this, even though Lee is not directly comedic in the film, the way in which he recounts the tales of King Kong’s statue, laces in his own memories and interacts with Lloyd, all keep the captivating flavour that works so well in his stand-up sets.

Throughout most of the film the main focus, Robert Lloyd, appears to be the sort of bloke you’d stumble into sat in a pub talking shit into his own pint of ale. Cumming and Lee excellently highlight the undiscovered brilliance of Lloyd’s catalogue and life story to an enthralling effect. They frame him as warm and charismatic but at the same time down-to-earth and fairly normal. This works in the films favour as images of him chatting with Lee in a greasy spoon café or pottering in his kitchen showing off the assortment of pills he has to take work as great contrasts to the unique music and the witty stories placed about the film.

Equally as captivating and intriguing is the story of the Kong statue. The 18-foot monster was built by the pop art sculptor Nicholas Monro as a commission for the centre of Birmingham as part of an arts initiative called the ‘Sculpture for Public Places Scheme’. Lee lays out the story of the fibreglass beasts’ conception and eventual rejection by almost everyone who it found its hands in.

The parallel stories are further stitched together through the use of short, crude animated flashbacks displaying different occurrences from Lloyd’s past with a cartoon depiction of the giant ape standing in for Lloyd. It is a great additional way to help solidify the thematic bond between the two subjects of the film which at first may appear to have very little connection.
The end result is a heartfelt low-budget documentary made with a lot of passion and love for its premise.

King Rocker: Official Trailer

King Rocker is currently available for streaming on Now TV and Sky Go.